[< I don't know what i would do without her. > ]
[ Wednesday, Apr. 05, 2006 ]
[12:57 p.m.]
There's something i feel i should probably address. And this time it's not a lunatic rant directed at homeless people.
For those of you who know, or have been reading this thing, you may know that over Christmas my mom had pneumonia.
It was a pretty scary time, but really only mildly scary because... my dad reassured each and every one of us each and every time one of us called for updates that "Your mom is going to be fine. She's tired, but she's not in any danger". So i just believed that mom was sick but that's about the extent of it. Even when we actually made it Saskatoon and spent Christmas day without her at home, it never really fazed me because my mom was going to be fine, she was tired - but she wasn't in any danger.
It wasn't until my family came to visit on St Paddy's Day (My THANKFULLY Very Healthy Mom, my dad and my older brother and his wife and kids, and my little brother) weekend that dad finally spilled the beans.
"Kids," he said, "i didn't want to tell you at Christmas because i didn't want you to worry, but your mother came very very close to dying."
WHAT?
I guess after we all returned home from the holidays, mom just wasn't getting any better. In fact, she was getting worse. Each day found it more and more difficult to breathe, and the doctors just couldn't figure out why none of the meds or treatments were working. The head nurse told my dad when he came to visit my mom that he should spend as much time with her as he could cuz it didn't look like she would ever leave the hospital again.
Then, for whatever reason, they decided to do one more test. And what they found was this... Pnumonic Fluid had somehow found it's way out of her lungs and was now slowly filling the space between her lungs and her back/ribs. They never caught this in the XRays because it was happening behind the lungs, and the lungs blocked the fluid from view. Essentially, my mom was slowly drowning.
The doctors took action, punctured a hole between two of my mom's ribs, and started draining. By the end of the first day, she drained over 2 litres of what was slowly killing her. For the next weeks she continued to drain, but now that she was able to breathe, she began getting steadily healthier.
My dad gave us this information 3 months after the fact. and now 3 weeks after that, i'm still having trouble grasping the fact that my mom,... my friend, my protector, my confidante, my shoulder to cry on, my Mother almost died.
Now as i type this, i'm still distracted by everything that's going on in my life. I haven't yet sat down with my feelings and faced the fact that my mother, my parents for that matter, are NOT immortal and that some day they will leave this mortal world on to whatever lies ahead of all of us. I'm not sure if i'm ready to accept that. But i suppose it's not really an option.
I don't know what i would do without her.
The journey continues - Thursday, May. 11, 2006
Dear Hubby... - Thursday, May. 04, 2006
where do i go from here? - Thursday, Apr. 27, 2006
one drunken stupd entry to gtet me to move on. - Friday, Apr. 21, 2006
one drunken stupd entry to gtet me to move on. - Friday, Apr. 21, 2006
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