[ Thursday, May. 11, 2006 ]
[7:11 a.m.]
Last saturday we went over to Lysol's house for a little bbq/potluck salad action, and it was quite fun. We all went out to Riley Park afterwards were we played with frisbees, hullahoops, poi and fire (in a safe and controlled manner, of course)
While we were walking back to the house Lysol, TBird and i hung back. There were hugs and tears and a little conversation that helped us decide to have time away - to ourselves - to be with the girls without our respective hubbies.
And somehow we got on the topic of our own "disguises" that we wear on a daily basis. T-Bird's is that she's "keeping it all together" with all the family craziness in her life, and Lysol's is that she loves everyone all the time and everything is fantastic.
During our conversatioin I wasn't crying or getting upset, and i think Lysol pointed it out that i'm just *chilled* out all the time. Yes, that's it... That's Laura's disguise. They both agreed that the person that i present most often is very chilled out. That nothing really phases me too much... while on the inside i'm going crazy pretty much constantly.
I don't think it really upset me, in fact i know that it didn't, but i took it to heart that i'm chilled out. So this is what people see. That i'm chilled out all the time... but is this good? Or do people think that i'm apathetic or that i don't think people's problems are big enough for me to worry about?
on a side note, tomorrow is my bifday. my "Closer to Thirty than Twenty" Birthday...otherwise known as the big 2-6. i think i'm pretty much okay with getting older. As long as i keep getting better. I'm trying to let go of a lot of the nonsense i was carrying around when i was, say, twenty. Maturity, i suppose, is what i'm going for here. Every once in a while i find myself thinking - "wow, that was an awfully highschool thing to say/do" and i'm trying to get away from that as much as possible. I'm still trying to define, in my own way, who i am i guess. Which Laura is the real Laura. The journey continues.
sadly, another one leaves the fold... - Thursday, Jul. 27, 2006
headspace - Tuesday, May. 30, 2006
no focus - Thursday, May. 25, 2006
venting... - Monday, May. 15, 2006
My B-b-b-BIRTHDAY... my B-b-b-Birthday - Friday, May. 12, 2006
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